Americans love self-help books and blogs.

It sounds enticing to figure out how to get in touch with yourself, get what you want out of life, and learn to love yourself again. Giving and getting DIY self-repair advice.

For most of us, including me, loving myself comes easy but not in a good way. This is the part of me that subtly or bluntly sees things from mostly my point of view. I’m almost 55 years old but part of me is still 25, and 10, and 2. Its the two year old part of me that peeks out and often gets stage time in my inner mind and in my soul. We try to disguise it with charm or people pleasing but its still the inner mini-me.

Much of our mental and spiritual dis-ease stems from that inner desire to have the world work exactly as we want it to be. Prideful dismissal of others, people pleasing, addiction, depression, and other things often come from being stuck the ancient saints and tell us. Modern doctors try to treat the symptoms with drugs and talk therapy but those still deal too often with surface issues and not the cause.

Sanity of the mind requires healing of the soul. This deeper healing begins with accepting our life and the universe is not centered on us and our rules, policies, laws, power, position, money, social network, politics, religion/non-religion, or public narrative. This healing begins with humilty and developing patience that keeps the two year old in the background and lets me act more like a 50 something more often.

Humility helps me remember that the Lord is God and not me. Only then can I begin to replace the selfish love for me with a generous love for God. The cure for Self Love goes back the the Old Testament in Micah 6 verse 8:

What does the LORD require of you? Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly before God.

In these times, the only way I see us able to listen to each other, ask questions to understand, and find solutions to our disagreements is to spread sanity and reduce the silos of Self Love. What keeps you sanely and effectivley engaged with people? The community around you needs to know and learn it.

Life is a team sport. Stay sane so you can make the play.